TankSkank
10-04-2009, 11:12 AM
A bloke walks into a pub. He walks up to the landlord and asks for a rum and coke. The landlord puts an apple on the table. The bloke looks at it and says "I'm sorry i wanted a rum and coke".
"Just try the apple," says the landlord. So the guy bites into the apple.
"Wow," he says. "This tastes like rum! The landlord tells him to turn it around and bite again. "Wow, this bit tastes like coke."
A minute later another bloke walks into the pub and asks the landlord for a gin and tonic. The landlord puts an apple on the bar leaving this bloke just as confused as the first, but the first bloke urges him to try it, so he does.
"Wow!" He exclaims, "it tastes like gin." The first bloke tells him to turn it around and bite again.
"And this side tastes like tonic," says the second bloke.
"Later that night a third guy walks in and joins the two blokes at the bar. The first two are so excited about these apples that they tell the third bloke that the landlord has an apple for whichever taste you want. So the guy asks for an apple that tastes like vagina. The landlord puts an apple on the bar and the guy bites into it.
"Urggh," this tastes like SHIT!!
"Turn it around," says the landlord.
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A guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey. He orders a drink and while he's drinking it the monkey is running wild. The monkey jumps up on the pool table and grabs the cue ball, sticks it in his mouth and swallows it whole. The bartender is livid and says to the guy, "Did you see what your monkey just did?". "No. What did that stupid shit do this time?", says the patron. "Well, he just swallowed the cue ball off the pool table, whole", says the bartender. "Yeah, well I hope it kills the little ****er because he's been driving me nuts", says the patron. The guy finishes his drink and leaves.
Two weeks later he comes back in with the monkey. He orders a drink and the monkey starts running wild around the bar again. While the man is drinking his drink, the monkey finds a grape on the bar. He grabs the grape, sticks it up his ass, then pulls it out and eats it. The bartender is disgusted. "Did you see what your monkey did now?", he asks. "What now?", responds the patron. "Well, he stuck a grape up his ass, then pulled it out and ate it", says the barkeeper.
"Well, what did you expect?", replied the patron. "Ever since he ate that damn cue ball he measures everything first!"
"Just try the apple," says the landlord. So the guy bites into the apple.
"Wow," he says. "This tastes like rum! The landlord tells him to turn it around and bite again. "Wow, this bit tastes like coke."
A minute later another bloke walks into the pub and asks the landlord for a gin and tonic. The landlord puts an apple on the bar leaving this bloke just as confused as the first, but the first bloke urges him to try it, so he does.
"Wow!" He exclaims, "it tastes like gin." The first bloke tells him to turn it around and bite again.
"And this side tastes like tonic," says the second bloke.
"Later that night a third guy walks in and joins the two blokes at the bar. The first two are so excited about these apples that they tell the third bloke that the landlord has an apple for whichever taste you want. So the guy asks for an apple that tastes like vagina. The landlord puts an apple on the bar and the guy bites into it.
"Urggh," this tastes like SHIT!!
"Turn it around," says the landlord.
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A guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey. He orders a drink and while he's drinking it the monkey is running wild. The monkey jumps up on the pool table and grabs the cue ball, sticks it in his mouth and swallows it whole. The bartender is livid and says to the guy, "Did you see what your monkey just did?". "No. What did that stupid shit do this time?", says the patron. "Well, he just swallowed the cue ball off the pool table, whole", says the bartender. "Yeah, well I hope it kills the little ****er because he's been driving me nuts", says the patron. The guy finishes his drink and leaves.
Two weeks later he comes back in with the monkey. He orders a drink and the monkey starts running wild around the bar again. While the man is drinking his drink, the monkey finds a grape on the bar. He grabs the grape, sticks it up his ass, then pulls it out and eats it. The bartender is disgusted. "Did you see what your monkey did now?", he asks. "What now?", responds the patron. "Well, he stuck a grape up his ass, then pulled it out and ate it", says the barkeeper.
"Well, what did you expect?", replied the patron. "Ever since he ate that damn cue ball he measures everything first!"